War Part I and II

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War Part I and II

Unread post #1 by Kaos » Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:20 pm

So yeah, this is just a little poem that I'm still tweaking. Any edits would be vastly appreciated.


War

In the time before time,
When man first became
There were two ideas roused,
And two plans laid

Some agreed with one,
And still others with another
It wasn't long before
A conflict was uncovered

The two plans opposed
And a battle was proclaimed
One side versus the other
In a ruthless duel for fame

The sides prepared their weapons
To fight this hellish battle
One side with lances of brilliant light
And the other with swords of shadow

They rose up against one another
In the next dawn's weary light
And they cried amongst themselves
"For our glorious plan we fight!"

The war was waged across the years
And as they battled and fought
A gray cowled stranger watched with weary eyes
As the whole world was broken apart

Then the gray cowled stranger
Jumped down from his observing ledge
And stood between the dark and the light
And said "Please! Let us think of those dead!"

"This war has been waged for far too long,
And has claimed too many a friend,
What could be possibly worth all of this?
What can you earn in the end?"

For a moment the dark seemed to falter
For a moment the light seemed to balk
But then that moment was over,
And the battle resumed without thought

The gray cowled stranger,
Now laden with grief,
Laid down his old head
And started to weep

For he knew that what he had failed
To stop in its tracks
Would continue forever
And never look back

Some called him 'Justice'
And others still 'Peace'
But what few actually know
Wass he was neither of these

Indeed he was Love,
For everything whole
The irony was
That he failed in his goal

The light and the dark fight on,
Even in this time of day
For nothing truly can stop them,
They are ever here to stay

Part II (Also known as Love's Return)

But hold, forbear from leaving, my friends
For my story is not quite yet done
Though the stranger laid battered and wounded,
He still had the life force to run

And ran he did, away from the war
Up to a ordin'ry village
The village was desolate and empty
And, by the war, brutally pillaged

It was there he stooped to catch his breath
And there he continued to weep
For he knew that he could not stop the war
Or couldn't alone, at least

But suddenly he stopped and thought
For he knew much more could be done
He realized that there were many heroes
And he, though strong, but one

He knew of the healer, Compassion
And he knew of the knight called Honor
And together with his blades of righteousness
He knew that they could defeat the great horror

He mustered them at once with great haste
And they united like in days of old
And with all of their forces combined
Their power was a sight to behold

And so they struck off for the battle
The time for reason was over
The only way to stop the war
Was to kill it before it grew bolder

And so they rushed upon the field,
And attacked the dark and the light
The war reeled and faltered
Then fought back after a brief respite

The dark and the light were allied
For a cause most sinister by far
The only reason they friended
Was to destroy the threat to their war

But slowly their ranks were thinned
Despite their warlord's cry
And the dark and the light then knew
That their war was soon to die

The warriors brave fought valiantly,
Yet sustained great wounds of their own
Some blades had left permanent scars
And some lances had bit to the bone

And finally in the coolness of dusk
The dark and the light did retreat
And in the pale glow of the moon
The heroes had completed their feat

Yet amidst the broken shadowy blades
And the brilliant spears of light
The warriors drew their haggard breath
And prepared to repeat the fight

For they knew that they had only forstalled
The nameless and horrible wrath
And they knew that they wouldn't run
But would continue to fight till their last



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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #2 by Davo » Sat Jul 03, 2010 4:08 pm

amazing work. i love part one. before you mentioned love. i was thinking of the bible. and reading part 2, i thought of the rapture kindof.... lol. excellent work my friend. excellent.
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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #3 by Kaos » Sat Jul 03, 2010 7:53 pm

Yeah, I'm thinking of removing the ambiguity to it, and adding character names.
Thanks.

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #4 by JakeG » Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:16 am

Your work has always gotten through to me Kaos, good work once again.

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #5 by Kaos » Mon Jul 12, 2010 6:37 pm

Haha, thanks Jake.

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #6 by superckool » Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:16 pm

Love it!
Be careful were you step, I've booby-trapped your whole room, the next step you take might be your last, either that or you'll step on the party activator button, if so then PARTY TIME! :mrgreen:

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #7 by Kaos » Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:02 pm

Thanks dude. Appreciate the positive feedback.

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #8 by Davo » Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:25 pm

you mentioned removing or changing it. dont do that. its great.
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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #9 by Kaos » Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:50 am

Okay. We'll see what happens then. I might continue this if I ever feel the urge. Those two were written during times when I had a real philosophical moment. If that comes up again, I'll do what I can to throw in a third.

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #10 by superckool » Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:28 am

Good luck then, its a truly great story.
Be careful were you step, I've booby-trapped your whole room, the next step you take might be your last, either that or you'll step on the party activator button, if so then PARTY TIME! :mrgreen:

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #11 by ThrowSomething » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:07 am

2 thumbs up.



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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #12 by Kaos » Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:12 pm

Haha, thanks dude.

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #13 by chaptmc » Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:07 pm

A well constructed composure that rhymes and is rather detailed. The poem itself is rather lengthy, but you can see the effort that was put into it, so it is lengthy in a good way. You definately do not find poetry as such as this as often anymore. I like it a lot :) . Keep up the good work.

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #14 by Kaos » Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:11 am

Thanks! I actually haven't written a lot of poetry recently. I need to get back into the swing of that.
Perhaps I can find a poetry class at college, that'd get me moving again...

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Re: War Part I and II

Unread post #15 by chaptmc » Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:55 pm

No problem. If you can find a class, go for it by all means. Keep the creativity flowing :) .


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